Petite, Blonde, and Confused

Dear Advice From Your Mom: I have been dating the same guy for a little over a year. We get along well, laugh a lot, have the same outlook, similar goals. He says I'm his best friend.

My problem? I'm not his "type." I'm a petite blonde. He prefers chunkier women with dark hair. He says if there was one thing he could change about me, it would be for me to gain about 20 pounds. (I'm 5 feet tall and weigh 105.)

He has become "confused" a few times during the relationship, and the last time he said he needed to decide which was more important, someone he's connected with or someone who is his type. The sex is good but not earth-shattering, because my physical attributes don't do it for him. He doesn't want to rip off my clothes each time he sees me, and I thrive on that kind of lust.

He keeps coming back, and I feel like a jerk for allowing him to stay each time. I love him, but I'm unclear whether I'm selling myself short and if I deserve someone who loves me the way I am. I'm afraid if he stays with me, eventually he will want his type and leave. He's 37; I'm 33. What should I do? -- BETWIXT AND BETWEEN IN NEW JERSEY

--------------------------------------------------------------


BETWIXT AND BETWEEN IN NEW JERSEY:

If you are so stuck on this guy then go eat some twinkies and have a coke. Maybe even dye your hair to brown and change your name to Sally. He is obviously using you for "petite blonde" sex and nothing else. He says what you want to hear but his actions are speaking louder than his words. Are your clothes still on waiting to be ripped off by this man? If so... move on... Go find yourself one of the millions of guys out there that love tinny tiny bimbos.

Love,

Your Mom