Dear Advice From Your Mom:
My son, who is 19, went to his aunt and uncle's during the New Year's holidays. They live 3 1/2 hours away from us. On his way back home, he got a speeding ticket.
Do you think we were wrong to make him return his Christmas gifts as punishment? His ticket cost $970 including attorney's fees. Our son thinks we were out of line.
Disgusted in Georgia
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Dear Disgusted in Georgia:
Your son is a spoiled, privileged youth that is not used to taking "no" for an answer. After you take away his Christmas present, you should also spank him and send him to his room, because the way you describe him and the situation, sounds like he is very immature for his age. For christ sake he is an adult now, maybe you should step up and stop treating him like a kid. I'm amazed you even had to write in asking if you were out of line.... you are the parents.... you set the rules. Your son might be a lost cause though.
Love,
Your Mom
Monday, February 8, 2010
Sunday, February 7, 2010
0
Petite, Blonde, and Confused
Dear Advice From Your Mom: I have been dating the same guy for a little over a year. We get along well, laugh a lot, have the same outlook, similar goals. He says I'm his best friend.
My problem? I'm not his "type." I'm a petite blonde. He prefers chunkier women with dark hair. He says if there was one thing he could change about me, it would be for me to gain about 20 pounds. (I'm 5 feet tall and weigh 105.)
He has become "confused" a few times during the relationship, and the last time he said he needed to decide which was more important, someone he's connected with or someone who is his type. The sex is good but not earth-shattering, because my physical attributes don't do it for him. He doesn't want to rip off my clothes each time he sees me, and I thrive on that kind of lust.
He keeps coming back, and I feel like a jerk for allowing him to stay each time. I love him, but I'm unclear whether I'm selling myself short and if I deserve someone who loves me the way I am. I'm afraid if he stays with me, eventually he will want his type and leave. He's 37; I'm 33. What should I do? -- BETWIXT AND BETWEEN IN NEW JERSEY
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BETWIXT AND BETWEEN IN NEW JERSEY:
If you are so stuck on this guy then go eat some twinkies and have a coke. Maybe even dye your hair to brown and change your name to Sally. He is obviously using you for "petite blonde" sex and nothing else. He says what you want to hear but his actions are speaking louder than his words. Are your clothes still on waiting to be ripped off by this man? If so... move on... Go find yourself one of the millions of guys out there that love tinny tiny bimbos.
Love,
Your Mom
My problem? I'm not his "type." I'm a petite blonde. He prefers chunkier women with dark hair. He says if there was one thing he could change about me, it would be for me to gain about 20 pounds. (I'm 5 feet tall and weigh 105.)
He has become "confused" a few times during the relationship, and the last time he said he needed to decide which was more important, someone he's connected with or someone who is his type. The sex is good but not earth-shattering, because my physical attributes don't do it for him. He doesn't want to rip off my clothes each time he sees me, and I thrive on that kind of lust.
He keeps coming back, and I feel like a jerk for allowing him to stay each time. I love him, but I'm unclear whether I'm selling myself short and if I deserve someone who loves me the way I am. I'm afraid if he stays with me, eventually he will want his type and leave. He's 37; I'm 33. What should I do? -- BETWIXT AND BETWEEN IN NEW JERSEY
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BETWIXT AND BETWEEN IN NEW JERSEY:
If you are so stuck on this guy then go eat some twinkies and have a coke. Maybe even dye your hair to brown and change your name to Sally. He is obviously using you for "petite blonde" sex and nothing else. He says what you want to hear but his actions are speaking louder than his words. Are your clothes still on waiting to be ripped off by this man? If so... move on... Go find yourself one of the millions of guys out there that love tinny tiny bimbos.
Love,
Your Mom
Saturday, February 6, 2010
0
Memory lane not so cheery....
DEAR ADVICE FROM YOUR MOM: Our oldest daughter is being married soon. When we pulled out our wedding album to show her our pictures, my mother-in-law, "Edith," started laughing and said she hoped our daughter's wedding would be better than ours was. Then she said our wedding had been "an embarrassment," and she wished she hadn't invited any of her friends to it!
Her son and I have been married more than 25 years. This was the first time Edith has ever mentioned my "awful" wedding. My father-in-law tried to shut her up, but she went on and on about how she should have stepped in and "helped."
My husband and I think his mother should apologize, but she says we are being "too sensitive." My daughter is upset about it too.
We want Edith to be a part of our daughter's wedding and festivities, but what kind of role should I allow her to have? I'm still angry and very, very hurt. -- MOTHER OF THE BRIDE IN MISSISSIPPI
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DEAR MOTHER OF THE BRIDE IN MISSISSIPPI:
Your mother in law sounds like a raging bitch. I suggest finding a brown paper bag, filling it with dog shit, and lighting it on fire on her doorstep. She will have a shoe full of dog shit and you will feel so much better. She is the type of woman who will never apologize so don't hold your breath. As far as your daughter's wedding goes, Have your mother in law man the guest book table, or better yet give her the wrong date! And when she calls you all pissed off tell her "oh well, it's better you weren't there, her wedding was just as bad as mine"
Love,
Your Mom
Her son and I have been married more than 25 years. This was the first time Edith has ever mentioned my "awful" wedding. My father-in-law tried to shut her up, but she went on and on about how she should have stepped in and "helped."
My husband and I think his mother should apologize, but she says we are being "too sensitive." My daughter is upset about it too.
We want Edith to be a part of our daughter's wedding and festivities, but what kind of role should I allow her to have? I'm still angry and very, very hurt. -- MOTHER OF THE BRIDE IN MISSISSIPPI
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DEAR MOTHER OF THE BRIDE IN MISSISSIPPI:
Your mother in law sounds like a raging bitch. I suggest finding a brown paper bag, filling it with dog shit, and lighting it on fire on her doorstep. She will have a shoe full of dog shit and you will feel so much better. She is the type of woman who will never apologize so don't hold your breath. As far as your daughter's wedding goes, Have your mother in law man the guest book table, or better yet give her the wrong date! And when she calls you all pissed off tell her "oh well, it's better you weren't there, her wedding was just as bad as mine"
Love,
Your Mom
Friday, February 5, 2010
2
A Little Back Story....
A good friend and fellow mom gave me a wonderful idea for a blog. Every day I will take an old/current "Dear Abby" question and put my mom spin on it. I will also be taking questions from my readers and fellow bloggers and putting my spin on things. I must admit, I can be blunt at times and you might not like what you hear, but i promise you it is WHAT you need to hear. Too many people tip toe around life not wanting to piss off their friends and family by saying the wrong thing. But there are times in life where everyone needs a good swift kick in the ass, and I will be that kick!
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